Inner rambling and some peace.

Some of the best things ever written come from a source of great pain.

Laying here in my bed cheeks red and wet with tears with my husband's arms around me and my favorite cat snuggled close to my side. Both trying to lend me what solace they can as the months of stress build up finally break the flood gates and I decompress everything bogging down my mind.

Today I planned on getting up going about my normal Tuesday routine. And honestly I have no idea from how the time I got up this morning to the time I'm posting this led to a complete and under emotional deluge I didn't see coming. Seriously it was only an hour.

Which leads to what I had posted on my facebook directly before this blog page. The only thing I can think of that led to this cataclysmic event was that I almost ran out of gas this morning taking my already late kids to school and came home to cat vomit almost like a he left a present right before the door to my room. Which isn't a big deal this is every day stuff that just happens right? And then... my brain went into overload and unleashed it's fury on everything.

It's no secret. As women we let things get to us. Build up. And mentally brake us. We are so busy in our lives we push everything mentally aside to deal with later. When that later never comes it erupts in great emotional torrents of pain, anger, sorrow and shame. Makes me envious of men sometimes. So easy it seems. They either explode on the spot and move on or they seem absent of emotions all together. Grass is greener maybe.

 As I'm writing this a quote I saw a long time ago on a shirt came to mind "some days it's not worth chewing through the straight jacket." Ain't that the truth? We are all a little crazy and somewhat broken by own own experiences. Someday's you just have to mentally check out and deal with it all. Knowing I'm not as alone as I feel in all of this helps. I have the right people by my side and someone I can always reach out to. Isn't that the least we can ask for?

I end this blog with words to a song. It's Change Your Mind by Sister Hazel. If you'd like to look it up. Because I can't think of  a better way to word it then they have.

"Hey, hey,

Did you ever think there might be a better way

to just feel better about today?

Oh no,If you never wanna have turn and go away

You might feel better

if you stay

Yeah,

I bet you haven't heard a word I've said

yeah,

If you've had enough of all your trying just give up the state of mind your in.

If you wanna be somebody else

just tired of fighting battles with yourself

if you wanna be somebody else change your mind.